Kevin Doyle: Where’s he off to?

So Kevin Doyle is leaving. Stop crying you at the back, it’s happening so get over it. It has been widely reported that he is in talks with Wolves, who met his £6.5m release clause. Also interested are Fulham, whose interest was exclusively revealed (™ The Sun) on our Twitter feed, later confirmed. Although we hope they didn’t get it from us, the source wasn’t exactly HP. Aston Villa, Everton and Bolton are also thought to be interested. So where will he go?

Wolves

Well, frankly, he’d have to be mad to go there if the other three actually make concrete bids for him. Doyle’s ambition is to play in Premier League and presumably he’d like a nice pay-packet to go with it. Wolves have the least chance of staying in the division and are likely to only be able to offer one of lowest salaries too. Doyle will have watched what happened to Dave Kitson last season and will be wary of joining a newly promoted side. He’d be able to join his old mate Marcus Hahnemann there, but, if anything, that could actually be a minus point. Who wants to spend their top flight life watching USA’s wayward hoofs flying over your head and into the stands?

Fulham

Despite having Andy Johnson and being the team that survived at our expense, this would seem an attractive proposition for Kevin. He wouldn’t have to move very far, if at all, and would almost certainly become a first-team regular. After all, with Johnson and Zamora only scoring only nine times between them in the league last season, Fulham need goals. Doyle scores goals. A bit of speculation here, but he seems the type of guy that likes to be quite low-key and a move this close would allow him to stay in touch with the rest of the Irish contingent at Reading (or what is left of it come September.)

Aston Villa

A great club and certainly not an opportunity to turn your nose up, but I think this would be a wrong move for our Doyler. They have Agbonlahor, Carew and Heskey as options up front and all three are arguably better options than he. O’Neill often plays five in midfield, which could also limit his chances, although with Barry leaving this may change. Nicky Shorey’s switch to the Villa will also have warned Doyle that his place in the starting line-up would not be guaranteed.

Everton

This would have to be a very strong option in Doyle’s mind, should they meet his release price, by no means a certainty with their financial troubles. They have a manager renowned for bringing out the best in players, European football on offer and a vacant striking position with the Irishman’s name on it. Last season, Fellaini and Cahill spent much of their time moonlighting up-front with Moyes’ seeming to prefer to more injury-prone of forwards. With that in mind, would he be lining up a (ridiculous) move for Michael Owen instead?

Bolton

No, no and merry lump of lard no. If Doyle decides that his best option is to play alongside Kevin Davies in a team of lump it merchants and cloggers then he would go some way to proving a well-known stereotype to be true. Unless of course he needs to confimed that he ‘feels good’ every time he sticks one in the back of the net.

My vote is going to Everton. I think he would absolutely thrive there, playing alongside some top-quality players, and would score plenty of goals. That’s assuming they have any money at their disposal. If not, then Fulham. Where are you casting yours?

Of course this could all become completely irrelevent by tomorrow morning, if it turns out Wolves were actually the ones to bid and, therefore, win his signature by default. But I hope not. That would be boring.